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How to be a Stoner Ninja (and get away with it)

Don't you hate it when you've spent the time getting high only to be silently judged by everyone else out in the wild for being high?  Now, we don't think you're the type to toke up and openly broadcast to the world that you've done so.  Sometimes, well, most of the time, it's totally unintentional that people have realized that you're high.  And that the cause likely came from either you physically looking like you're not all that there or that your clothes reek of cannabis smoke.

Luckily for you, we've mastered the art of being a Stoner Ninja.  We've been high in public so often that we've developed the best skills to silently insert your high-self in public situations where people literally have no idea that you're stoned!  So that's what we'll focus on today: here are five points you can apply to your stoner routine to make you a full-fledged Stoner Ninja!


5 EASY WAYS TO HIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE STONED IN PUBLIC

Being high in public can be unavoidable at times.  Maybe you decided to wake & bake before leaving for the day and that high lingers on as you traverse through the wild.  Or maybe you decided to take a small toke on your commute but the smoke lingers on your clothes.  Whatever the situation may be, being able to disguise yourself to be able to move among the non-stoners is key.


1. EYE DROPS & CONTACT SOLUTION ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS

Let's be real, you can spot a stoner from a mile away if their bodily response to being high consists of red eyes.  Take it from us, whenever we're tasked with the blessing and sometimes curse of trying the new batch of Weedsy Infused mini pre-rolls, we simply can't help it if our eyes give away the fact that we're high as we slowly migrate from the office to the nearest taco spot.  So one solution to help disguise ourselves is to make sure our physical appearance doesn't give us away.

Having a bottle of Clear Eyes or whatever preferred brand of eye drops and/or contact solution to effectively moisturize those eyeballs back to normal should help with that.



2. GUM / MINTS / MOUTHWASH TO BE AS FRESH AS POSSIBLE

If you're smoking, chances are, your breath reeks of smoke!  And no, the terpenes you're smelling and tasting on the inhale does not have any correlation with the scent of your breath on the exhale.  Speaking from experience, having a conversation with someone that just blew through a full pre-roll is not a pleasant conversation to have to say the least.  Even someone with the most stringent of dental hygiene routines simply cannot hide the fact that they just sneaked a toke in the bathroom; which leads to our next solution: BRING SOMETHING TO FRESHEN UP YOUR BREATH.

This can be gum, mints, mouthwash, an entire dental hygiene travel set with toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and mouthwash combined.  Similar in importance as eye drops, having better breath after your toke up can mean the world between being a Stoner Ninja and simply being caught.



3. HAND SANITIZER & BODY LOTION

Whether you're smoking on a Weedsy Infused mini pre-roll, a pre-roll you rolled yourself, a blunt, a pipe, a blunt, whatever the smoking method may be, your hands are touching smoke and smoke smells!  At the end of the day, it's just the cost of doing business and while we're not here to tell you how you should be enjoying your weed, what you do to hide any evidence of doing so means everything.  Always keep some hand sanitizer on deck because your fingers are definitely green from pulling apart nugs with the smell the of smoke lingering on your hands from constantly pulling on the pre-roll.

Now, remember, we're still in the middle of a pandemic, so having a bottle of hand sanitizer is actually a good thing.  One particular side effect of constantly sanitizing your hands, however, is dehydration, that might otherwise cause skin problems later on down the line.  So with the hand sanitizer, we also follow up with a generous helping of hand cream or body lotion.


4. WET WIPES & FACIAL CLEANSING PADS

Have you ever found yourself so high that you had to splash some cold water on your face just to figure out that everything is okay and you're okay?  If not, then you should absolutely head on over to the dispensary for some stronger weed!

Anyways, keeping your face moisturized does more than just bring you back to reality.  Much like your breath and hands, your skin absorbs quite a bit of smoke and can make or break your "being high in public" experience.  Not to mention, of course, that having a clean face can do wonders at removing any odor smoking may have caused!

And as for wet wipes in general, any wet wipes would do.  Think BBQ and how they give you those single-use wet wipes to clean up after yourself after engorging in copious amounts of food.


5. COLOGNE / PERFUME / BODY SPRAY

Nothing else shouts "I'm high!" more so than your entire body smelling like you just hotboxed in your car.  And this isn't even a "let me hide the fact that I hotboxed in my car" type of deal.  This is common courtesy - and that's precisely why we keep a bottle of cologne or body spray on us.  The fragrance will minimize the smoky odor while also increasing the smell value on you as a whole.  I mean, who doesn't like being complimented on how they smell from a complete stranger?


WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO NOT SMELL LIKE WEED?

While the five suggestions above can definitely elevate your Stoner Ninja game, it's important to note that this isn't an exhaustive list.  Maybe you might have some other tips to include in here!  And just for the sake of honorable mentions, we'd also like to point out some proactive ways to reduce your cannabis odor:

  • If you are blazing outside, stand upwind as to allow the smoke to travel away from you instead of out and directly onto you.
  • Store your bud properly.  Anything that's smell/odor proof should do the trick.  Most cannabis flower is sold either in jars or mylar bags and both do an excellent job at concealing the smell.
  • You can just skip flower altogether and opt for something a little more low-key - like edibles or a quick vape.

We hope this guide helps you to blend in to the wild just a little better.  We love being high and it's even more fun when you're out and about doing it.  Just remember, most people can tell if someone is high just based on how they look and smell.  Do your part to keep them on their toes as much as possible.  That's where the real fun begins!

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